This lesson, based in Ruth chapter 3, has hit me particularly hard this week. Ruth steps out in courage and goes to the threshing floor to propose to Boaz. The waiting is over. Naomi gives her instructions and her blessing and now the only thing left for her to do is to approach Boaz.
For me, this lesson is not so much about proposing - I've never had the inclination to propose to anyone. It is, though, for me a lesson about being willing to trust God enough to step out in faith, not knowing what the response will be. I've struggled with that in regards to dating, in regards to work, in regards to my writing. I trust God, but sometimes I still let fear hold me back instead of moving forward in faith and trusting God with whatever happens.
That's what I appreciate about Ruth. I'm sure she was afraid of how Boaz would respond. Here was this guy who had taken her under his wing, looked after her and protected her, provided food for her and Naomi. She had to be afraid of screwing all that up. This proposal was going to change things between them - for better or worse. If her proposal was unfavorably received, she could be jeopardizing her primary source of provision. Boaz had been incredibly kind to her, but marriage is different - it goes beyond typical kindness. Boaz was a man of standing in the community and here was Ruth, a foreigner. He might be willing to invite her to the table, to be friends with her, but marrying her was an entirely different matter. This could jeopardize his standing in the community. Then there is the possibility that Boaz would think less of her for going to the threshing floor, not exactly a place of good repute. Would just the act of going reflect poorly on her?
As I picture it, all these fears had to be running through her mind. But then again, I am used to fears running through my mind. Sometimes I hear a constant stream of what ifs playing, and I can't seem to find the mute button. But regardless of whether the audio was playing in Ruth's mind or not, she went anyway. She didn't know how things were going to turn out. She didn't know how Boaz would respond, but she still stepped out in courage, with boldness, opening herself up to what God had in store for her.
What if she hadn't gone? What if she had listened to those fears? She would have kept on working in the fields, gathering food for herself and Naomi. Things would have continued rather normally. BUT... she would have missed out on Boaz, missed out on the story God wanted to write in her life. She never would have been a part of the line of King David. She wouldn't be listed in the geneology of Jesus. She would have lived a perfectly mediocre life without the incredible blessings God had in store for her.
That's what I want think God has been trying to show me this week, the importance of replacing my fearful what ifs with what if nots... What am I missing out on when I let fear hold me back? How does God want to bless me as I step out and trust Him? What story does God want to write in my life? Looking back, I see opportunities that I let slip away, times when I was too afraid of what might happen, good or bad, times when I was too afraid of opening up myself to what God wanted to do. I wonder what if. It's not that I imagine things would have worked out perfectly, but what would I have learned walking through it with Christ, what would I have learned about trusting Him? Those questions are not meant to tie me up in the past. I am usually fairly good about leaving the past behind me and living without regrets. I know I can't change those times, but I can choose here and now to make myself available, to choose faith over fear. I can choose a better way. I want to find out what God might want to do with my writing. I want to find out what God has in store for me career-wise. I don't want to close myself off to new opportunities because I am afraid.
"Perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18). Ruth was able to step out. I can step out. We all can step out to the threshing floor because He loves us (Romans 5:8) and He is working for our good (Romans 8:28).
No comments:
Post a Comment