Texas is a strange land. Things are just a little different in Texas. Sometimes I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s this feeling that I don’t belong here, that I am an outsider in an insider world. Don’t get me wrong – people here are polite and friendly, but most of the people around here have roots deeper than the California Redwoods. And I don’t – I don’t have that common sense of history, those common memories, that sense of settledness that seems to come with the territory. I’m single and I’ve been rather transient. I’m used to coming and going, but not necessarily staying.
I take great encouragement in the fact that Ruth was a foreigner too and very much an outsider in an insider world, an outsider geographically and an outsider religiously. I can just almost hear the gossip now –Who does she think she is? The covenant doesn’t apply to her. Over and over again the author of Ruth refers to her as Ruth the Moabitess – as if she actually wears a label saying outsider stamped on her forehead. I can relate. Sometimes, we can’t hide that the fact that we stick out like a sore thumb in a place where everyone knows everyone.
But what I like about Ruth is that she doesn’t just sit around hanging out with Naomi. She ventures out. She decides to be productive, to go about building some kind of life. She knows she & Naomi need food and she sets out to provide, even when she’s not so sure what she is doing. You could say it was reckless and dangerous to set out by herself to go glean in other people’s fields. She was young, single, poor, and a foreigner, probably the most vulnerable of all people. She sets out by herself, though, to do something, something rather than nothing. At the time, she had no idea how God would provide. She had no idea the story yet to be written. She just made a decision to do the best thing she knew to do and left the rest in God’s hands.
Sometimes starting over is like learning to walk, taking a couple of steps and falling down and getting back up again. And I’ve learned that sometimes I don’t know what to do to make things be okay, to get where God wants me to be, to get to the insider track. Sometimes I just step out and do something, hoping that God will bless it, that He will protect me even in light of my sometimes seemingly reckless decisions.
And He does. Several times this week as I have been pondering this study, God has brought to my mind my move to Columbia almost five years ago. It is almost eerie how similar the struggles are, the questions, the fears, and the process of settling in to a new environment. But what is so wonderful is seeing how God placed me right where I needed to be, answered those questions and resolved those fears over time, and led me to a peace and settledness that was much more real than geography.
Now, as I find myself asking questions or missing home, I look back at the answers He provided before, and I hear Him saying the same thing. Trust me. I work all things for good and I am at work here for your good and for a greater good. I am in control. And I care. I’m not done writing the story yet.
I look forward to letting Him write the story and to discovering the end He has in store, for Ruth and for me. Good things await. God things await.
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